Normally, I have little to no time for politicians; but when plans were afoot to open a massage parlour in my neighbourhood, I felt obliged to write to my local MP, demanding that action be taken to keep prices at an affordable level.
Flushed with this successful foray into the political arena, I’ve decided to help out Jack Straw in the aftermath of the veil wearing controversy. I’ve suggested that the Government introduce new legislation making it compulsory for all British females to cover up, until a recent photograph has been graded by a select group of professionals. It works on almost every level.
While that solution was relatively simple, the conundrum that is Man U v Liverpool is proving far more perplexing. After studying the stats, the value lies with United at 10/11.
I can predict with relative confidence that this will not be a goalfest. The last four matches between the old foes have either been goalless or settled by a single strike. In Merseyside, a 1-0 win for Man U would be about as welcome as Boris Johnson, but the smart money is in play at 6/1.
I’ve given young Rooney a fair bit of stick this Keluaran Sgp season, but recent form suggests he’s approaching his stunning best. Admittedly, he’s still not scoring, but there’s no doubting his greatness. Rooney is available at a big fat 28/1 to score the only goal of the game.
Fulham last won away at Aston Villa in March 1973, 8½ months before I was born. Somewhat worryingly, my old dear was a Villa Park regular in the 70’s, and she was never shy in putting herself about. It’s entirely possible that I could be the apple of an ex Fulham player’s eye, I’m just praying it’s not Rodney Marsh. The unbeaten Villa will extend Fulham’s dismal run in the Midlands, you should play at a promiscuous 8/11.
I have a theory that Steve McClaren may be hard of hearing. He’s completely oblivious to Gareth Barry’s incessant knocking on the England door and just the sight of the inept manager is enough for me to break into sign language. Barry looks a great shout at 9/2 to score at any time.
Chelsea have won every Premiership fixture against Portsmouth (six in total) by a 2-0 or 3-0 scoreline. Is this a statistical anomaly or a trend that will lead to a mountain of riches? I’m hoping for the latter. You must cover either of these scores for a potential payout of 5/2; it’s not erm…rocket science.
Frank Lampard has been nominated for the Ballon d’or; now I’m not bilingual, so I’m guessing the translation is something like ‘Balloon Man’. It’s said that Frank Lampard never misses training; he would if they renamed it ‘the goal’. Lampard may have found the net in both of last season’s meets with Pompey; but Drogba is a far more likely candidate to net the opener …